


Something in the Water

by curvasud, zilia



Category: Star Trek RPF
Genre: Angst, Awkward Sex, Bisexuality, Established Relationship, F/M, Female!Chris, Fluff, Genderswap, Kissing, M/M, Oral Sex, Sex, Virginity, slight slut-shaming, weird science
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-15
Updated: 2014-11-15
Packaged: 2018-02-25 08:54:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2615840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/curvasud/pseuds/curvasud, https://archiveofourown.org/users/zilia/pseuds/zilia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Chris Pine turns into a girl.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Something in the Water

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Pinto Big Bang 2014.
> 
> I have a list as long as my arm of amazing people who helped me with this fic. Firstly, check out the awesome art by curvasud. It was so fantastic that I chose to use both pieces and I can't get over how wonderful it is. Secondly, thanks to Medea, who gave me a lot of hand-holding and was an excellent and supportive beta. Thirdly, thanks to everyone in the Pinto Bar for their encouragement and feedback on draft sections, especially the lovely lizard and JunoMagic. Particularly when I was having a late-night freakout and couldn't work out how to upload images.
> 
> This was the very first thing I tried to write in the Pinto fandom, and it's been six months in the making, so I hope you enjoy!

 

 

If you had asked Chris a few weeks ago about what made him most anxious, “my best friend’s dick” probably wouldn’t even have been in the top hundred. However, a lot can change in a few weeks. Now, Zach’s cock, hot, hard, and several inches from his face, was the nemesis he had never expected, and he was petrified.

Confronted with this fear, Chris’s recent life experiences began to flash before his eyes. They hadn’t all been this traumatic. Over the past couple of months, he had come to the sharp realisation that the giddy feeling in his head and the fluttering in his stomach whenever he was near Zach was, actually, an enormous crush. Like, really enormous. Completely different to anything he had ever felt before. There had been times in his life when he had felt attracted to other guys, but he had never acted on it before. Objectively, he had considered himself to be bisexual since his college days, and he was comfortable with considering himself as such, but since he had never done anything beyond a little flirting, he had had zero practical sexual experience with men. Then, Zach.

He had immediately felt drawn to him, admiring his confidence, his intelligence, and his style. Zach had seemed effortlessly cool, endlessly able to navigate all kinds of social situations and publicity events, the kinds of things that made Chris want to curl up under a duvet and hyperventilate into a paper bag. He had never met anyone he could just _talk_ to for such a long time, and soon they were hanging out most days, getting dinner, watching movies, walking Zach’s dog, playing Scrabble, reading. With every day they had spent together their shields came down a little, and soon they were comfortable with lots of contact. Chris was a touchy-feely kind of guy with most people, but it had felt more significant in his interactions with Zach, almost as though they had no physical barrier. If their hugs happened to go on for a little longer than they did with others, or if Chris found his feet in Zach’s lap as they sat reading at opposite ends of the same couch, or if their hands brushed casually together while they were walking side-by-side down the street, well, that was just how it was.

When they had had to spend a few days apart due to Zach taking a trip out of town, Chris had moped like a lost sheep, and when his first instinct when Zach had turned up at his door, late, exhausted-looking, and begging for food was to throw himself onto him and never let go, Chris had realised that maybe this wasn’t just an epic bromance, but maybe something a little more lacking in the ‘b’ department. At least from his side. That evening, things had escalated into what could only have been called _snuggling_ on Chris’s couch watching a movie. Chris had learned in close and rested his head on Zach’s chest, and Zach’s arms had come around him to hold him there. They had cuddled together for the rest of the movie, and then after it had ended, Chris drifting off to sleep and Zach drawing lazy circles on his back, holding him close. Neither of them had spoken for hours, not wanting to break the spell, until Chris, heart hammering loudly in his ears, had raised his head, nuzzled into Zach’s neck, and joined their lips together. It had been the single most impulsive thing he had ever done, and even now he was impressed at his own bravery, his ability to go from _holy-shit-I-think-I’ve-got-a-crush-on-Zach_ to making the first move in just a few hours. They had melted into the softest, gentlest kiss Chris had ever shared. They had kissed a lot, feeling their way around each other, enjoying the slide of their tongues around each other’s mouths, the feel of teeth, the gentle nibbles of lips. Afterwards, too exhausted to do much more than grin at each other like lunatics, they had shuffled off to sleep in Chris’s bed, curled together and clinging like a pair of sleepy, kiss-drunk koalas.

And that had been how they had fallen into a relationship, without really discussing it, just extending their former inseparable behaviour to include much more touching, kissing, and sleeping in the same bed; usually Zach’s bed, because it was bigger and he had animals to take care of, but Chris treasured the few nights they spent at his place, as it had been the beginning of everything. Over the past few weeks, Zach had patiently been educating Chris about his body, teaching him all of his favourite places to be touched, stroked, licked, sucked, nibbled. Chris was as always an eager student, loving the feel of Zach’s body under his fingers and tongue. He loved the taste of Zach’s skin, loved the musky, male scent of him as he explored every inch, paying particular attention to where Zach was directing him. Every sound or movement he could wring out of Zach, he counted as a small victory, another piece of evidence that he could, in fact, please Zach despite his inexperience, and he committed them to memory, determined to learn them all until he could play Zach’s body as expertly as Zach played him.

Zach made him feel amazing almost every day, drawing sensation from all areas of his body. It was easily the best sex Chris had ever had, and it wasn’t even usually full sex. Zach had fucked him a couple of times, and Chris had wanted it, but it had hurt despite Zach’s efforts to be gentle, and they were taking a bit of a break from that for now. Instead, they were focusing on hand jobs and lots of kissing and touching.

Zach had been patient with Chris’s inexperience so far, and tried not put any pressure on him, but he had sometimes caught a glimpse of quickly-hidden frustration in Zach’s eyes when they had kept things PG. He felt guilty making Zach settle for less than full sex, and he was determined to conquer his hangups. This was going to be the night that he finally sucked cock for the first time. After all, it couldn’t be that hard, could it? He knew what he liked. He had received plenty of blow jobs in the past. So, after mapping Zach’s body with fingers and tongue, he had tentatively kissed his way down to his belly, and then further down before he could lose his nerve. Zach had sighed appreciatively, and Chris had sensed his eagerness in the slight buck of his hips, as Zach subconsciously directed Chris to where he wanted him to go. And this was how Chris had ended up faced with Zach’s dick, trying to convince himself to get on with it.

 _OK, Pine, you can do this,_ Chris reassured himself mentally. _It’s just a cock. It’s_ Zach’s _cock. You’ve touched it before, you’ve made him come. It can’t be that hard._ Gathering his courage, he kissed the head of Zach’s cock, breathing in his scent. He flicked his tongue out to the slit, and Zach gave another sigh. Feeling more confident, he began to lick long, slow stripes from the base of Zach’s cock to the top, letting his tongue discover the texture of the firm, yet tender, flesh. Zach sighed again, giving another little buck.

 _Right, business time,_ Chris thought. He opened his mouth and took the head of Zach’s cock into it. Immediately, he was surprised by the width of it. It filled the whole of the top of his mouth, wedging between his teeth. The surprise made him suck harder than he had intended to, and he made an inadvertent, obscene slurping sound. He flushed bright red and hoped he had imagined Zach’s tiny shudder of laughter.

 _Come on,_ he told himself, _keep going._ He continued sucking, his mouth feeling uncomfortably full. Zach’s dick was wedged in the top of his mouth, dragging against his teeth like skin against wet shower tiles. He could swear he could hear tiny fricative squeaks as it did so. _Don’t think about it, don’t think about it, just keep going._ Breathing was almost impossible. He sucked some more, trying to tongue the underside of Zach’s cock as he did so. It seemed to be taking a long time, and Zach wasn’t reacting. His jaw ached. _Come on, Zach._ Suddenly, he became aware that he was producing far more saliva than was normal, and he slurped again. Panicking, he attempted to swallow, and something went down the wrong way. He choked, pulling off Zach and coughing. Eyes streaming, he gasped, trying to regain his breath. After a moment, he registered that Zach was laughing. Not just laughing, but in a full-on fit of hysterics.

“Dude, I’m sorry, but that’s the worst blow job I’ve ever had,” he said, when he could get words out. Chris was mortified.

“What did I do wrong?”

“Well, those _noises…_ ” Zach broke off for another laughing fit, “And your _face._ You were taking it so seriously.”

This was not a moment when Chris wanted to be laughed at. He was sure he might have been able to laugh it off in other circumstances, but now he felt horribly vulnerable. It had taken Chris a long time to build up his sexual confidence as a teenager, and it was even now very easily shaken. This was an entirely new field of experience for him, and he was hyper-conscious of making mistakes.

“I’m sorry,” he said, turning away from Zach, who seemed not to realise that he had touched a nerve. Chris felt a rush of shame fill him, first burning hot and then icy cold, and he couldn’t bring himself to admit to Zach that that was his first-ever try at a blow job.

“It doesn’t matter, baby. Come here.” He pulled Chris into his arms and held him tight. “We’ve got a long time to learn around each other. And I don’t mind. I just want to be with you, sweetheart.” He kissed Chris’s brow, and Chris nuzzled into him, feeling foolish and inadequate and belittled by the pet names, like Zach was just trying to make him feel better. He loved Zach’s patience with him, and appreciated that he didn’t try to rush him, but he still wished he could please him in the effortless way Zach could pleasure him.

Long after Zach had drifted off to sleep, still encircling Chris in his arms, Chris lay awake. He felt humiliated and also resentful. How could Zach laugh at him? _I wish he knew what this felt like. He’s had years of practise and I’m flying blind here._ It should have been easier that Chris had had years of experience with a male body, but it was only his own, and wanking wasn’t exactly difficult. Plus, he had already shown Zach that he could jerk him off without problems. He wanted to do more. How was he ever going to let Zach fuck him again if he couldn’t do this? How was he ever going to keep Zach interested in him?

 

\---

 

The next morning, Chris woke gradually, the sun shining on his face and warming him. Both he and Zach were snuggly sleepers, so it was no surprise that they were still entwined, facing each other on Zach’s pillow with their foreheads resting together and their legs tangled up. Chris could tell by Zach’s breathing that he was still sleeping lightly, but he couldn’t resist dipping his head to nuzzle into Zach’s neck and kiss him.

“Mmmmmm, morning,” Zach said sleepily, as Chris mouthed his way along Zach’s jaw.

“Mmmm,” Chris hummed back, not feeling quite ready for speech. He rested his forehead against Zach’s again and planted a gentle kiss on his lips. Zach’s lashes fluttered, and his eyes opened. Chris smiled, and moved in for another kiss.

He was utterly unprepared for Zach’s look of shock and his sudden leap out of the bed.

“Who are you? What the hell are you doing here?” Zach yelled, looking panicky.

Chris sat up quickly, puzzled. “What? Zach, it’s me! Did you forget we were dating now?” Something was horribly wrong with his voice. He coughed, trying to clear his throat.

“Chris?” Zach whispered, an expression of mingled confusion and horror crossing his features.

“Whom did you expect?” His voice was still higher than expected. He coughed again.

“Chris. I want you to look down at yourself.”

Chris obeyed, and all of a sudden realised what was different. _He had breasts._ Subsequent, deeper exploration revealed that not only did he have breasts, but also that his cock was gone, and in its place was…girl bits. Further investigations also revealed the sudden appearance of a long mane of hair. Suddenly his changed voice made a lot more sense.

“What happened to you?” Zach asked, still looking horrified.

Chris took a deep breath, banished all unhelpful thoughts such as _this is impossible_ and _don’t be ridiculous_ from his mind, and decided to accept the evidence of his own eyes and fingers.

“I think I’ve turned into a girl.”

Overcome by curiosity, he jumped out of bed and padded to the bathroom, grabbing his glasses as he went and shoving them onto his face in front of the mirror. It took him a moment to take it in. He looked like himself, only not. His face was rounder, but his cheekbones more pronounced. His eyes were much the same, but surrounded by darker, thicker lashes. His hair was much longer, and very thick. His shoulders were narrower and his arms less muscular. He lifted his now-baggy t-shirt over his head and pushed down his boxers in order to investigate the rest of himself. In the past, Chris had been a connoisseur of breasts, and he did have to admit that his were very nice; soft, warm swells with pale pink nipples that hardened at his touch. His waist was slender and his hips more rounded. He gave a small inward sigh at the sight of his round butt, even more prominent now he was a girl, and the slight softness to his belly. _Can’t have it all, I guess._ At least his legs were still reasonably toned. He looked at the dark triangle of hair between his legs, slipping a hand there, letting his fingers tangle into the hair and then stroking a finger across his clit. _Oh._ That was good. _Very_ good. No wonder girls made such a fuss about this. He explored further, sliding a finger into the warm wetness between his legs, fascinated. Stroking inside himself with one hand and playing with a nipple with the other, he let himself drift into the realm of sensation for long moments.

Zach startled him out of his reverie by opening the bathroom door. Instinctively, Chris covered himself up, crossing his arms protectively over his chest to conceal his breasts. He wasn’t sure whether this was a concession to Zach’s modesty or his own, but it made him feel a bit less exposed. He could feel himself blushing, guilty at being caught touching himself.

“Shit! Sorry!” Zach said, averting his eyes immediately and fixing them on a spot just over Chris’s shoulder, as though he’d never seen Chris’s naked body before. _Well, I suppose he hasn’t. Not this body, anyway._

“It’s ok, just give me a second?” He bent to pull up the boxers and then struggled into the t-shirt. “OK, I’m decent.”

“It wasn’t a dream then,” Zach muttered, grudgingly bringing his eyes back to Chris’s.

“No. Apparently not.”

“So. Um, you’re a girl.”

“Looks like it.”

“Any idea how this happened?”

“No. It’s never happened _before_ , if that’s what you mean. I think I’d have noticed.” Chris snapped a bit more than he meant to, and Zach took a step back, looking wary.

“OK. Well…look, why don’t you have a shower and make us some coffee? I’ve got to go walk Noah.”

Without waiting for an answer, Zach turned around and quickly left the room.

 

\---

 

Chris had a long, hot shower, partly to allay his anxiety about Zach’s abrupt departure, and partly to allow himself to become more intimately acquainted with his new body. He spent a long time rubbing bubbles over his breasts, enjoying their softness, their sensitivity, and then the same amount of time exploring between his legs, bringing himself to an unexpected orgasm under the spray as he flicked his clit experimentally. It was intense. Then he had to see whether he could do it again. And then again. After the third time, he decided that enough was enough, and that excellent as it would be to use up all of Zach’s hot water as he jerked himself to oblivion, it was probably time to face him again.

Zach was still not back when he emerged, even allowing for the extra time it had taken to dry his hair. He ran his fingers through it impatiently. How did girls _do_ this? Back in Zach’s bedroom, he pulled on his clothes from yesterday. The jeans were comically long on him, and they were loose on the waist and at the front, although they were held up by his round butt. His newly gained curves made his shirt tight across his chest, and his nipples were clearly visible through the thin cotton. It was pretty uncomfortably tight, but there was really nothing else for it.

In the kitchen, he made coffee, pacing anxiously while he waited for the water to heat. Where was Zach? Why was it taking him such a long time to get home? Was he even going to come back? He would have to come back eventually, surely. Unless he and Noah were going on the run forever because they couldn’t bear to be around him and his breasts any more. Had Zach taken his car keys? Chris was just searching for them when he heard the door, and Zach and Noah returned from their walk. Noah bounded eagerly towards him, and Chris felt a small flash of relief that there was at least _somebody_ in the house who didn’t recoil from him, but when the dog stopped dead a few paces in front of him, looking confused, even that illusion was destroyed.

Zach was shuffling around with his keys and wouldn’t meet Chris’s eyes, so Chris went to him and took his hand.

“Zach, look at me.”

Zach lifted his head reluctantly.

“I don’t know why this has happened, but it’s not my fault, and I can’t do anything about it, so could you please be try to be a bit more understanding? I’m kind of freaking out here.”

Zach gingerly put his arms around him and pulled him into an awkward hug that felt completely wrong because of the new height difference. His nose was mashed into Zach’s shoulder just above his armpit, and his glasses were knocked askew and dug uncomfortably into his cheek. Zach gave him a perfunctory squeeze and then released him, which was not at all comforting to Chris. A thought suddenly occurred to him.

“So, is this really tricky for you, touching me now?”

“Why?”

“Aren’t you, like, really scared of the vageen?”

Zach sighed and made an expression that Chris read as meaning _I am extremely disappointed in you, Christopher._

“That is _such_ a lazy stereotype. Just because I’m gay doesn’t mean I’m repelled by the female body. You’ve seen me hug Zoe loads of times, anyway, it’s not like I never _touch_ women.”

“What about when it’s me in here?”

“That makes things a little more complicated. I’m attracted to you as much as your body…your _ordinary_ body, I mean. I’m not sure what to do with your current one.”

“You mean you don’t think I’m pretty?” Chris asked, batting his eyelashes.

“You’re stunning,” Zach said, smiling for the first time since they had started this conversation. “You’re always beautiful, and I prefer you how you were before, but objectively speaking, this is a good look on you.”

Chris’s glasses were now too big for his face, which he was finding very distracting. He made a mental note to get some contacts from home at some point, and pushed them up his nose for the fiftieth time that morning with a resigned sigh. He wanted to explore Zach’s idea that he was ‘stunning,’ but the practicalities of his new situation were beginning to overwhelm him.

“How long am I going to be like this? Do you think it’s worth getting some girl clothes? Like, a bra or whatever?” Chris cupped his breasts speculatively and squished them into various positions, first pushing them together and then hosting them up.

“I think you should stop _touching_ them,” Zach said, slapping his hands away.

“What am I going to do until this wears off? Assuming it does?”

“You’ve got a few days free, right?”

“Yes, but what do I do until then? And what if I’m stuck like this forever?” His voice – already higher than usual – rose in panic towards the end of this sentence. He’d been feeling edgy all morning, and the sudden distance between him and Zach was a huge part of that: they were usually extremely tactile when it was just the two of them, maintaining an almost constant contact even if it was just the briefest touch of fingers. He could sense Zach’s reluctance to bridge the gap, and he didn’t want to push him: he didn’t think he could take it if Zach rejected him altogether. It felt hard to breathe.

“What are you thinking, Pine?”

“I’m thinking…” oh, heck, he should just say it, “I’m thinking, I really need another hug.”

“Aww, come here.” Zach crossed the kitchen floor and embraced Chris, properly this time, and he relaxed into it gratefully. This time they were better aligned and instead of feeling awkward, Zach’s superior height felt comforting. “Thanks. I just wasn’t sure you’d want to touch me like this.”

“I am a little wrong-footed by this. But I can see when you look upset, and I’m not a monster. I can hug you.” Chris breathed in his familiar scent and held on a little tighter. Zach stroked a hand through Chris’s hair and snagged a tangle, and Chris yelped in pain.

“Ouch!”

“Did you brush your hair?”

“I don’t _own_ a hairbrush, Zach. Or if I do, I certainly didn’t bring it with me. I’m more of a comb guy.”

“Good point. I think I’ve got one somewhere…let me brush that out for you.”

Zach disappeared to rummage around in the bathroom, and they ended up in the living room, Zach on the couch, Chris on the floor in front of him, while Zach attempted to work the tangles out of Chris’s hair with a tiny hairbrush whose origin he refused to explain. He tried his best to be gentle, but after he had pulled one too many times Chris hissed, “Start at the bottom and get those knots out first!”

Zach looked at him, surprised.

“I grew up with an older sister. She used to make me brush her hair for hours when we were younger. If I hurt her, she used to punch me.”

“The Pine household sounds like an interesting place to grow up.”

“You have no idea.”

Finally, Zach had worked the brush through to the best of its limited ability. It was an improvement, but not by much. Chris’s new hair really required some specialist tools. The still-wet hair was dripping down Chris’s back, and had left a wet patch on the front of his straining shirt, making him look like he’d been leaking. Classy. As if he didn’t look ridiculous enough with his too-long jeans, which concealed his feet and nearly made him trip over. Luckily he had a hoodie he could shrug into to conceal it, but the overall effect still wasn’t great. He stood up and looked in the mirror over Zach’s fireplace. Zach stood behind him, not close enough to actually touch him, but close enough for Chris to _feel_ his presence. It was a comforting feeling.

“I’m going to have to go to the mall,” he said, looking at himself critically. He grinned at Zach in the mirror in what he hoped was a flirtatious way. “Want to help me come and choose a bra?”

“Um, no, I think I’ll let you do that on your own. It’s not like I’d even know what I was looking for.”

“Come on, it could be fun.” He leaned back a little and pressed against Zach, and Zach placed both of his hands on Chris’s shoulders. Chris’s new body had reacted to the contact and he felt enormously turned-on all of a sudden. He _wanted_ Zach, and even though this body had different, less evident ways of showing it than his usual one, it felt very obvious. Heat and wetness gathered between his legs.

“Zach,” he murmured, taking a step closer, “Can we…?” He turned, stood on tiptoes, and brushed his lips against Zach’s. Zach seemed to hesitate for a moment, his lips closed, but Chris stayed put, kissing him again, and Zach’s mouth opened slightly. They kissed delicately, softly, no tongues for now, just gentle pecks. The slow build was intensely arousing. Zach’s arms dropped to his waist, and he reached up to encircle Zach’s neck, finding the perfect angle to kiss him more deeply. He teased his tongue between Zach’s parted lips. It was like their first kiss all over again, so exciting, so new. Their tongues met, and Chris sighed softly, opening his mouth more fully and sucking on Zach’s tongue. Sure enough, Zach inhaled sharply, and the kiss suddenly changed pace, becoming more passionate. He bit down on Chris’s lower lip, not hard, but sharp enough to make him gasp. He was already getting used to kissing in this new body, having to stretch up and hang onto Zach around the neck in order to reach. His mouth was a slightly different size, so he could fit slightly less of Zach’s tongue inside it, which was odd. _Definitely no blow jobs with this mouth,_ he thought wildly.

“ _Zach,_ ” he said again, more urgent. Zach responded by tightening his hold on Chris’s waist, lifting him slightly. This was completely new. Chris was the stronger of the two normally, but Zach lifted him effortlessly onto his toes and dragged him across the carpet to the couch, then lowered him onto it. Chris pulled Zach on top of him. They were making out now, Zach’s hips undulating against his, his hands in Chris’s long hair, as Chris reached up to Zach’s ass and gave it a squeeze. Their bodies touched in completely different places from where they had before. He could feel Zach’s hard cock through his jeans, and he spread his legs a little to accommodate him. It felt _so good._ His clit grazed Zach’s cock, and it was driving him mad. He needed _more_ , more friction, more closeness, and he pushed up to try to get it… Zach suddenly froze, and rolled off him onto the floor.

“Zach, what the hell?”

“I’ve never done this before.”

“Zach, you’ve done this lots of times. With me. On this very couch, in fact.”

Zach flailed miserably. “Not like _this._ ”

“It’s still me! Same Chris, different bits. Does it matter?”

“ _I don’t know._ ”

“What? You think you’ll have to hand back your gay card if you fuck me?”

Zach’s face twisted. “ _No._ I’m just a bit…overwhelmed. _”_

“Overwhelmed?”

“Yes, Chris, overwhelmed. Because _your body has changed._ Are we really just going to stand here and pretend like it’s totally normal for you to have suddenly become a girl?”

Zach’s tone of voice was pleasant, but there was a nasty, stabbing edge to it that made Chris feel anxious. His head was still spinning with thwarted arousal and the change of tone almost gave him whiplash. He played for time.

“What?”

“I mean, it’s all very cosy brushing your hair and planning shopping trips, but what are you doing to _do?_ ”

“Do? What do you mean? I didn’t do this in the first place, so I can’t exactly….” He drifted off, as a thought struck him.

“Oh, shit, Zach. Maybe I _did_ do this.”

Zach frowned. “What do you mean?”

“Um, last night…after you laughed, I mean, after I tried…you know, I was kind of upset.” Slight understatement. “I was thinking about how you had so much more experience than me at this, how I didn’t really know how to handle your body, and then I was…sort of wishing that you knew how I felt.”

“What, so you gave yourself… _this_? Because you were mad at me?”

“Well, not on purpose! It was just a wish!” Chris felt helpless. “But I didn’t actually _do_ anything. I just woke up like this.”

“So, wish yourself back!”

Chris closed his eyes and concentrated hard on his late and much-lamented cock.

“Not working. Wish harder.”

“Zach, I _am._ I don’t know how to fix this. How do I fix this?”

“I don’t know, Chris, but you’re going to have to figure this out on your own. I’m sorry, I need you to go. I need some space.”

“Don’t be mad. I’m sorry! How am I supposed to know how to change back?”

“Chris.” Zach’s flare of anger seemed to have died down, to be replaced with something calmer, a little apologetic. “I just need some time to process. You go, get yourself sorted out with some new stuff, and we can talk later, ok?” He gave Chris a small smile, which was reassuring, and Chris did his best to return it, before turning to find his sneakers and call a cab on his way out.

 

\---

 

He couldn’t help feeling a little rejected, but he hadn’t exactly got his head around his new body himself, so Zach needing some space to puzzle it out maybe wasn’t so surprising. He brooded all the way to the mall in the cab, and was borderline rude to the driver, who kept trying to engage him in conversation despite his clear signals that he didn’t want to talk. After the fifth or sixth attempt, he flat-out asked the guy to please leave him alone, and the atmosphere in the cab became very cold. He felt so bad for being rude, and also a little bit nervous of the guy, who was scowling at him in the rear view mirror, that he gave him a bigger tip than usual just to try to even things out. That was a highly unusual experience; usually he’d just have let the guy get over himself and not thought any more about it. Before he could puzzle that out, however, he found himself at the entrance to the lingerie store, and that required all his attention.

He was surprised to discover that his previous experience didn’t give him much help, as it happened. He gathered a small collection of sexy-looking pieces of lace and satin and took them to the changing room, but he had no idea what size he was. He had to be measured by a matronly lady armed with a tape measure who made him take his top off and who looked at him like he was an idiot not to know the size of his own breasts. Then she called out a combination of letters and numbers that might as well have been in code. Chris pretended this was his first time bra shopping; well, it wasn’t really pretence, but he couldn’t go into details with the saleslady. _Actually very recently I used to be a man_ would probably win him points for originality, but might also get him locked up. Instead, he let the saleslady subject him to a lecture on the importance of sturdy foundation garments.

“It’s very important to wear a bra, ma’am,” she said, in what Chris felt was an unnecessarily admonitory tone. “Your breasts need proper support. Especially if you’re well-endowed.”

Chris blushed and looked at the floor. It’s true, his breasts _were_ quite large, but having that pointed out made him feel strangely awkward.

“Would you like me to fetch you some to try on? All of these are the wrong size.”

“Yes please.”

When she came back, Chris chose the bra that caught his eye first, a red satiny thing that would have looked perfect on his former girlfriend. He had removed his fair share of bras in his time and had considered himself to be pretty familiar with their mechanics, so he hadn’t anticipated this being a problem. However, after five long minutes of attempting to fasten the damn thing and finally getting it on properly, he could hardly breathe. His tits were hoisted almost up to his neck, and the underwiring felt like it might gouge out his ribs.

“The wire in this is very poky,” he gasped, struggling to breathe.

“Well, it’s not one of our more comfortable styles. More for a special occasion.” Translation: sex over substance. In the two minutes Chris had been wearing it, it had tried to kill him twice.  


“Maybe you should try something a bit more everyday?” the lady suggested, holding up a plain white bra. Chris took it as she left the cubicle, and released himself from the red monstrosity with relief. He promised himself that if he ever got his body back and things didn’t work out with Zach and he ended up dating a woman again, he would never inflict such an implement of torture on her. On investigation, the new bra was softer and much easier to operate, even if it did have wiring. He could breathe far more easily in it, and now that he didn’t feel like he was being skewered, he could appreciate how improved his shape was once his breasts were no longer drooping. His waist appeared more defined, and the soft curve of his cleavage looked more enticing, even if he did so say himself. He was entranced in front of the mirror for several moments, until he was shaken out of it by the returns of the sales assistant. She allowed him to keep the bra on so that he could wear it of the store, and on an impulse, he seized a black one in the same style on his way to the register, plus a week’s worth of plain cotton panties.

His next trip was to The Gap. After trying on several different pairs of jeans, he selected a pair that fitted snugly around his ass and waist (harder than he anticipated). Then he chose a pair of sweatpants, and a selection of t-shirts, which would do for a few days. He also picked up several pairs of socks. At a shoe store, he selected a new pair of sneakers for his smaller feet, and, remembering Zach’s difficulty with his hair, went to a drugstore and bought a big, heavy-duty hairbrush, plus some special conditioner which promised to rid his hair of tangled. Feeling efficient and encouraged, he treated himself to a coffee, and used the café’s bathroom to change into his new clothes when he was done. He felt approximately three thousand times better: his clothes fitted, he didn’t look like a lactating hobo anymore, and the horrible strawy feeling in his hair would hopefully be sorted out next time he had a shower. All was good, or, at least, as good as it could be when you had got unexpected breasts and your boyfriend had freaked out about it.

 

\---

 

Chris wound up going home after his shopping trip to pick up contact lenses and to be in his own space again. He managed a couple of hours on his own, but he started feeling lonely pretty quickly. His panic from earlier had returned in full force. How long was he going to be a woman? Could he be stuck like this? Career-wise, this was a disaster; he had no projects ahead for a month or so, which was very fortunate, but then he had to start work again, and he couldn’t exactly play the parts he was signed up for as a woman. He recalled something his sister had always said about the double standards in Hollywood, and realised he’d have that to worry about too, as if everything else weren’t enough. More importantly, there was, like, the rest of his life: if he didn’t switch back, he had no idea how he was going to explain himself. He wouldn’t be able to hide from his family forever, or his friends, and although Zach seemed to have no problem believing him (well, he could hardly doubt the evidence of his own eyes), he might have more trouble convincing other people. And then there was the problem that Chris was still extremely attracted to Zach, and Zach was ambivalent at best to Chris in this shape. It had been bad enough being rejected once; what if he lost Zach over this? He missed him terribly now, and wanted nothing more than to call him and demand he come over to help him calm down, but he was not sure whether he could demand anything from Zach at the moment. He wrestled with his pride for a long time. In the end, he decided to send a neutral text message and see what happened, wrestling with his ancient phone that he should really have replaced months ago, but he kept putting it off due to his fear of electronics.

_Back from the mall. How are you doing?_

Zach texted back pretty quickly. _at home reading. you ok?_

Chris considered. He didn’t feel ok, not really. He really wanted to be able to talk about this, and currently Zach was the only person he _could_ talk to. He was feeling horribly lonely and insecure, and suddenly he needed to know exactly where he stood with Zach now.

_Can you come over?_

A longer delay, during which Chris willed himself to keep calm and wait and ignore his jangling nerves. A few minutes later, his phone buzzed:

_on my way._

Chris felt his whole body relax.

 

\---

 

When Zach arrived 40 minutes later, Chris threw himself at him as soon as he was through the door. Zach grabbed him and held him tightly, rubbing his back comfortingly. They spent a few minutes like that while Chris desperately fought the urge to cry, which he held back, just. Then Zach held him at arms’ length and looks at him.

“Nice jeans. Did they paint them on? And you got a bra!” He was trying to be jokey and upbeat, which Chris appreciated. “You look great.”

“Thanks,” Chris said, not sure what else to say, when Zach suddenly said in a rush, “So, I was rethinking my behaviour earlier.”

“What do you mean?”

“I think I _do_ want to see what this new body is like.”

“Really?”

“ _Yes_.” And suddenly Zach lunged for him and gave him a fierce, possessive kiss.

“Now? We’re doing this now?” Chris squeaked, still a little dizzy with how fast they’d changed pace.

“ _Now_ ,” Zach growled into his mouth, and he led him into the bedroom. He threw him down on the bed and they rolled over until Chris was on top. They pushed and rubbed together, alternately kissing messily and gasping breathlessly into each other’s mouths. Chris was eager for more skin, so he pulled Zach’s t-shirt up over his head and kissed him all over his chest. He felt so much _broader_ than he has before, like there was so much more of him, and Chris felt tiny and fragile by comparison. He suckled one of Zach’s nipples, perhaps a bit more fiercely than was necessary, to compensate for his sudden vulnerability.

“Uh-uh, no you don’t,” Zach whispered, “My turn.” He whipped Chris’s t-shirt off. “Pine, you have a _magnificent_ rack,” he breathed, nuzzling into the space between Chris’s breasts, licking into the space between the fabric and his skin. Chris’s nipples hardened, and he had always been aware of the connection between female arousal and nipple hardness, but feeling it like this was completely different. Zach’s teasing licks and nips were driving him wild.

“Zach, Zach, touch me, please,” he gasped. Zach’s fingers went to the bra fastening, but he was flummoxed by the mechanism, and Chris had to help him, half-laughing, half-panting with desire. Once they’d wrestled it off, Zach’s hands kneaded Chris’s breasts, squeezing and pinching. It felt good, but also a little rough.

“Aaah, gently, gently!” he gasped, as Zach pulled a little too hard.

“Sorry!” Zach immediately looked contrite, and brushed gentle kisses over Chris’s chest in apology. Then he took one of Chris’s peaked nipples into his mouth and sucked, and it felt _so good_ , telegraphing sharp pulses of sensation down to his clit. Chris whimpered and arched his back, and Zach kept sucking, flicking the nipple with the tip of his tongue. The sweet agony of it made Chris’s head spin.

“Zach… _fuck,_ that feels amazing. When you do that…I can feel it in my clit.”

“ _Fascinating,_ ” said Zach, in such a perfect Spock-voice that Chris was fighting the urge to giggle again. He caught Zach’s eye and saw that he’d done it on purpose. _Bastard._

“So _don’t stop._ ”

“Your wish is my command, Princess.” Zach moved to the other nipple, and Chris felt those amazing jolts again. He took one of Chris’s hands and drew it down to his cock, which, Chris realised, was rock-hard.

“You’re really into this?” he said, doubt creeping into his voice.

“No duh. You’re hot like this, all gasping and writhing and blushing on top of me. Now come on, stroke me.”

They stroked Zach together, gripping through his jeans, while Zach lavished more attention on Chris’s breasts. Soon, Chris was pulling Zach’s fly open so he could get his cock out into the open and jack him with more intensity. Zach wriggled out of his ridiculous jeans, and then helped Chris off with his. Now they were lying on the bed side by side, Chris in his panties, which were soaking, and Zach completely naked.

“Can I touch you?” Zach asked, kissing and nibbling round Chris’s ear.

“Yes, God, yes.”

“You’re so _wet_ ,” he breathed, as his fingers ghosted over his panties, and Chris jolted as his fingers found his clit again. He pushed the damp panties aside and strokes Chris between his legs. That first contact of fingers on slippery, soaking skin was enough, and Chris yelled, feeling a sudden burst of sensation radiate out from his centre. But it was not good; it felt sore, oversensitive, almost painful.

“Aaaaahh. No. Not just there.” Zach’s hand flinched away. “I mean, congratulations, you just found my clit, and apparently that’s something that’s pretty hard for guys, so well done for the first time, but it’s too intense. You’ve gotta be a bit more gentle. Try here.” He led Zach’s hand to his folds and let him slip a finger in. “Mmmm, that’s good. Rub me like this. Use two fingers.”

Zach did, stroking firmly and slowly inside him, and the feeling began to build inside Chris again. It was like edging slowly towards a drop, feeling the anticipation of getting closer and closer. It was a very different to approaching orgasm as a guy, like his whole body was slowly drawing towards a centre only to burst out again. He squirmed against Zach’s fingers, trying to get a different angle.

“What?”

“Just…almost there, almost…”

“What are you looking for?”

“I don’t _know_ exactly, I just know that when I find it, it’s gonna be really, really…. _oohhhhhh._ ” Zach’s fingers edged along something _fantastic_ inside him.

“Think that’s my g-spot,” he panted.

“I thought that was a myth?”

“Apparently not. _Keep going._ ” Zach obliged, stroking over that spot again and again as Chris gasped and shuddered. “I think…I think I can come again, if you keep…. _yeah,_ like that.” It was weird, this stopping and starting. Orgasm was much more linear as a man. With this, it was like edging closer, and then sideways, and then closer again.

“Chris…I want to be inside you.”

“Yeah?” He wanted that too. There was an ache inside him that longed to be filled, and he wanted all of Zach’s delicious length inside him. Zach was going to fill him up just right, he knew it. He was wet and excited, impatient. He reached up and kissed Zach again, and the sweetness of the moment was quickly replaced by passion, as Zach held his head tightly and crashed their mouths together. They broke apart as Zach frantically scrabbled for a condom, tearing the packet open and smoothing it impatiently down his cock. Chris lay back and spread his legs, panting “do it, Zach.” Zach moaned enthusiastically as he lined up between Chris’s legs, and then attempted to enter Chris. _Attempted_ being the word.

“Where are you?”

“I’m right here.”

“Wait, no, that’s not right. Am I inside yet?”

“ _No._ Ouch. Your dick keeps missing my hole.”

“Ok, sorry, sorry…how about now?”

“You keep slipping out.” Chris couldn’t help letting an edge of petulance into his voice. He was so eager for Zach to be inside him, so desperate to be the experienced one for once, and even now he couldn’t get it right.

“Well you’re so damn _wet_ ,” Zach huffed, thrusting forward and missing again, “Seriously, how does this _ever_ work?”

“I’ve managed to do it lots of times,” Chris snapped.

“Well, _excuse me_ if you’re such a slut you have no problem doing this.” Zach probably intended that to come off as a joke, but Chris was stung.  


“Like you can talk, with all the hundreds of guys you banged before me!”

“ _Hundreds of guys?_ ” Zach looked really offended now, and the air was turning nastier by the second, but Chris couldn’t resist pushing him, still desperate to get off and writhing against him.

“So many of LA’s twinks, you giving them the ride of their life….then you end up with me and have to settle for second-best, must be killing you, and now… _get in me, you motherfucker_ …you… _ohhhhh._ ” Another slight shift and Zach slid into him, filling him to the brim.

Chris hissed and arched his back. Their eyes met, and Zach looked back at him wide-eyed, looking as shocked as he did aroused. They froze for an instant, just staring, and then Chris rolled his hips, trying to draw Zach into him, and Zach thrust into him once, twice, _oh,_ it was _so_ good, then three times, and then he felt Zach pulsing inside him and he made a strangled sound as the tremors of his orgasm shot through his body.

“Is that…is that it?” Chris asked, after a moment, as Zach sagged on top of him. That was undeniably it, but he felt too frustrated for words. Zach’s cock was softening inside him, and he wouldn’t meet Chris’s eyes.

“Zach? But you’re so _good_ at sex.”

Wordlessly, Zach slid out of him and got up off the bed. For a long moment, Chris just watched as Zach pulled off the condom, threw it in the trash, and began putting his clothes back on. He gave off waves of a horrible, forced calm, an almost eerie control that Chris suddenly realised was one of the hallmarks of Zach’s behaviour when he was feeling particularly rattled.

“Chris. You just gave me total control of that situation.”

“Well…yeah, I guess? So what? What’s the problem? Tell me what’s going on.”

“Look, I can’t talk to you just now. I just need some space, ok?”

“But…Zach, I _need_ you. Everything’s falling to pieces and I need you here with me.”

“Chris, there are some things I have to figure out. If I stay here I’m just going to end up saying things I don’t mean. Let me go. I’ll call you in a day or so.”

“But…”

“Chris. I just…I can’t cope with this situation.”

Leaving Chris frozen to the bed with confusion, Zach turned on his heel and walked out of the room. Chris felt paralysed with confusion and fear, unable even to say anything, as he tried and failed to process what had just happened.

 

\---

 

Chris was no stranger to stereotypes of female behaviour, and even though he liked to think he was above such sexist bullshit, there were only three things he wanted to do as soon as he felt able to move again, so he did them. First of all, he turned off his phone and stuffed it deep into the back of his sock drawer, where he would be less tempted to keep staring at it or to start attempting to text Zach to continue their abortive conversation. Then he lay down on his bed, curled up around a pillow, buried his head in the sheets that still carried the scent of their abortive coupling, and sobbed his heart out. The faint traces of Zach’s scent still lingered in the air, reminding Chris of burrowing close to his chest in cuddles, and he let himself cry for what seemed like an obscenely long time. He felt lonely, abandoned, completely isolated, and he worried that he’d never get to see Zach again. He worried that he was stuck in this body forever. He worried that he was going mad. He just let it all out until he was done. Thirdly, he went to his freezer, dug out all the ice cream he could find, and took it and a spoon and a blanket to the couch. He systematically ate all of the ice cream until there was none left, and then, his heart empty and his stomach full, he fell into a deep sleep.

 

\---

 

When he woke up, he had no idea what time it was, he had a crick in his neck, and the wire in his bra was poking him. Plus his eyes hurt from sleeping in his lenses. “Fuck,” he gasped, reaching behind himself and flipping open the bra catch so that he could get some relief. His tits sagged, but it was much easier to breathe. He checked the clock on the wall. He had somehow managed to sleep for almost 18 hours, which meant it was the next day. It took him a moment to work out what he was doing on the couch in the first place, and then another moment to remember what had happened with Zach and to realise that he was still not in his right body, let alone his right mind.

Past experience had told Chris that a shower was one of the best ways to clear his head when he was in a funk, and so he decided to do this now. Plus he could have a go at brushing his own hair. He trudged into the bathroom and turned on the shower, stripping off while he waited for the water to heat up. He was naked and just stepping into the cubicle when he realised that something was up. The water wasn’t running. Weird. He tried turning it off and on again, but nothing happened. Puzzled, he tried the taps in his sink. Nothing. Really confused now, he wrapped a towel around himself, padded through to the kitchen and tried the taps there. No water. Hmm. This had never happened before, and it made him anxious. Although he managed to do his bit in the garden, he was no good at actual home maintenance. Usually his recourse would be to call his dad for advice, but halfway through that thought he realised that it would be difficult to explain to his dad why he was suddenly speaking in a different voice, not to mention what would happen if he actually came around to try to help. Hmm again. Being a girl was pretty damned inconvenient. Likewise leaving the house to talk to the neighbours might cause a few problems if he tried to explain who he was or what he was doing in Chris Pine’s house. He decided to phone the utility company to ask for advice.

Doing this meant he had to go and fish out his phone from the back of his sock drawer, and it was a few seconds before he could bring himself to look at the display once it had booted up. No calls or messages, from anyone. Of course. His heart sank for a moment, and then he shook himself and looked up the number for the water company. He dialled the number and was cheerfully informed by an automated voice that his call was extremely important to them, that unfortunately all of their agents were busy, and that he was to hold until one of them became available. This took many long minutes, during which Chris did his best not to scream at the on-hold music, which was difficult, because it seemed to be made up entirely of xylophone and panpipe arrangements of songs from Broadway musicals. He was just pacing around the house and idly singing along with _Out Tonight_ from _Rent_ when an actual human being answered.

“Hello, American Water?”

“ _You wanna prowl, be my night…,_ oh, sorry. Hello.”

There was an audible confused silence on the other end of the line for a few seconds, then the man said, with an obvious grin in his voice, “Can I help you, ma’am?”

“Um, yes.” Being called _ma’am_ had thrown him, but he got over the shock quickly. “My water doesn’t seem to be working. Not in my bathroom, not in my kitchen. I turn on the taps and nothing happens.”

“All right. Have you noticed a leak anywhere in the property?”

“No.”

“Have you had any work done recently that might have had the water shut off, or could anyone have turned the water off, like your husband or father?”

 _Husband? Father?_ “No.”

“Are you sure, honey? You probably don’t even know where that valve is, do you?” Chris recoiled at the patronising tone in the guy’s voice, and felt his temper flare. He felt strangely vulnerable still in his towel, even though there was no way the guy could see him.

“Um, I do, actually. It’s under the sink, I’ve used it lots of times.” The assumptions the man was making annoyed him so much he felt he had to justify himself. “I’ve installed a lot of water things. Definitely. I’m all about plumbing.” _Shit. Shut up, Pine._

“I’ll just bet you are, sweetheart,” said the guy indulgently, in a tone which said _I don’t believe you._ “So if you’re sure the water supply is still turned on…hmm…oh, wait a second, could I have your address?”

Fuming, Chris gave it, and waited while he heard the guy type it into a computer. After a few seconds, he said “Oh, Silverlake area, right?”

“That’s right.”

“Yeah. Sorry about this, but there’s been a problem with the water main in that area and we’ve had to shut it off temporarily.”

“What? What kind of problem?”

“Nothing to worry about. We’ve just had to shut it off. It’s a precaution really, sweetheart.” _Don’t worry your head,_ was the clear subtext. Chris was really getting annoyed with being addressed in this way. It wasn’t like phone conversations when he was a guy were peppered with casual _honeys_ and _babes._

“Well, thanks very much, _buddy_ ,” he said, putting as much withering sarcasm into the word as he could, “Any idea when it’ll be back on?”

“Nope, sorry. We’ll keep you updated though. In the meantime, you might want to shower at a friend’s place. It might be a day or two before we get the all clear.”

“Ok. Thanks.”

He hung up, tossed his phone onto the counter, then took a few deep breaths. He let the anger over how the guy had talked to him flow out with each exhalation, and then stopped to think. He couldn’t do without water for much longer: he hadn’t showered since yesterday morning, and that was before he had got all naked and sweaty with Zach, so he was now smelling pretty ripe. Also, he knew he needed to _talk_ to Zach. Whatever was going to happen between them, they needed to talk it out, and maybe enough time would have passed now for them to do it in a civil fashion.

 _Why didn’t he call me?_ He couldn’t help thinking, feeling his heart sink. He began to build up a head of recriminatory steam as he thought about all the times he had called Zach and how few times Zach had returned his calls. He had once had a girlfriend who had complained that she had always had to call him, and he had never understood why it had upset her so much. Now he did. _Guys are dicks,_ he thought angrily. _Why the fuck does anyone bother with us? Them. Us. Wherever I belong now._ He was suddenly struck with the perverse desire to wait and see how long it would take for Zach to call him. _Fuck_ trying to sort this out. Let Zach come to him for a change. Somehow being in a different body made it easier to do this. _I’m literally not feeling myself_ , he thought, with a giddy kind of abandon. Suddenly, he was seized with the desire to leave the house.

He decided that he would shower at his gym. It was just a few blocks away, easily walkable. He stuffed the towel and some toiletries into a gym bag, and then dressed himself in his new sweats. He regretfully hitched himself into the hated bra and yanked a t-shirt over his head. Shouldering his bag, he stepped out into the sunshine.

It was a glorious day, and it felt good just to have the sun on his face. He’d been moping for too long yesterday. He always felt better when he was outside, and he made a mental note to do some gardening today. He was lost in his own little world as he walked, and he arrived at the gym in no time, swiping his card in the door.

He was halfway to the men’s changing area through force of habit before he realised his mistake, fortunately in plenty of time to change direction and avoid getting an eyeful. Soon he was in the right place, and he shed his clothes and threw them into a locker. He gathered his towel and wrapped it securely around him, and stepped gratefully into a hot shower.

Chris lost track of time as he soaped himself down. It did clear his head, as he had hoped back at home. He made sure to wash his hair thoroughly, massaging the shampoo deep into his scalp and following it up with a generous palmful of conditioner. He wasn’t tempted to touch himself this time; instead, he just stood under the spray, enjoying the warmth for as long as he could, before it occurred to him that he was in a public place and that there might be other people around waiting to use the shower. Sure enough, when he shut off the water and left the cubicle, he saw a line of disgruntled-looking women outside.

“Sorry,” he muttered, keeping his head down and shuffling back to the lockers. He was halfway through getting dressed when it occurred to him, belatedly, that he was in something of a privileged position right now. How many times would he have sold his soul for this very opportunity as a teenager? Or, being honest, as an adult? There he was, in the middle of a women’s locker room, with several attractive half-naked women around him, some of whom he had checked out in the past, and he was focusing on drying between his toes. Of course, he would be a complete dirtbag to do anything obvious, but a quick glance couldn’t hurt…  

He looked around furtively, and his eyes landed on one woman whom he recognised as a regular gym-goer. She was petite and dark, with beautiful soft curves and long, thick hair that she was rubbing dry with a towel.

 _Oh, she’s hot. Her breasts are amazing,_ Chris thought appreciatively, and then, suddenly feeling insecure, _Her breasts are better than mine._ And _she has nicer hair._ He looked up to notice that she was looking right at him and smirking. He felt the blood rush to his face and he dropped her gaze hurriedly, embarrassed at being caught. _That’s so stupid. I’m not even a real girl._ He shoved his feet quickly into his sneakers so that he could get out of there fast.

 _That’ll teach you to perv on girls, Pine,_ he thought ruefully, as he fumbled for his card so he could swipe out. Before he could find it, however, the girl from the locker room came out to find him.

“Hey!” she said, “Haven’t seen you around before. Did you just move here?” She was smiling. Was she being friendly? Or was she mad at him for staring? Chris still felt flustered, but he realised she was waiting for an answer.

“Um…no, I’m just visiting,” he stuttered, blushing even harder.

“That’s a shame,” she said, with a slight pout, “I might have enjoyed hanging out with you.”

Oh God oh God. _Mysterious girl was flirting with him. Abort, abort._

“Oh, that’s, um, really kind of you, but I have to go now.”

“Wanna take my number in case you change your mind?”

“ _No._ Um, I mean, I have a boyfriend. Yeah, that’s it, I do have a boyfriend!” Zach came belatedly charging back into his brain, and he had never felt so relieved to see him. “But, um, I think you’re really pretty. I love your hair. I have to go.” The last few words came out a suicidally fast speed as he finally located his swipe card and swooshed it manically through the card reader until the door opened. “Bye!” he called over his shoulder, breaking into a run as soon as he was through the door.

If he didn’t change bodies, he was going to have to change gyms.

 

\---

 

Chris was lost in his thoughts as he walked home, feeling both unsettled and flattered by the fact that an attractive woman had hit on him, and also feeling that the humiliation might just put him off ogling girls for life. It took him a while to realise that someone was whistling nearby, and he realised it was coming from a group of guys on the other side of the block. He ignored them and kept walking.

“Hey sweet tits!”

 _Guys are ridiculous, part #5742, an odyssey of discovery by Christopher Whitelaw Pine,_ he thought, but he increased his pace, eager to get away from the attention. He had never liked people looking at him, and he liked it even less in this new body.

“Hey sweetheart, I’m talking to you!”

“Hey, _sweetheart._ ”

 _Fucking_ sweetheart _again._ He had heard that too many times today already. Somehow it wasn’t like it was when Zach said it. When Zach had called him that two days ago – _was it really only two days?_ – it had been annoying, but in an endearing kind of way. Not in this petulant, aggressive, demanding way. Suddenly all of the frustration of the past few days bubbled up inside him, and he saw red.

“Hey! Yeah, you, _sweetheart_. _Fuck off_ , _”_ he yelled, with as much venom as he could put into just a few words. The mad, reckless dizziness he had felt earlier that morning surged back into his veins, and he marched back home with his head held high, leaving the astonished catcallers behind him. Damnit, he felt so _helpless_ , and he just wanted someone to _listen_ to him… When he got back to his house, he almost fell over Zach, who was sitting on the driveway looking out of his mind with anxiety.

 

\---

 

“Zach? What are you doing here?”

“Oh, thank God you’re all right. I was worried when you weren’t answering my calls, and then I got here and you were gone…” Zach looked completely rattled, as Chris had never seen him before.

“Hey, it’s ok, calm down.”

“ _Calm down?_ ”

“You were the one who wanted space. I was giving you space. I thought you were going to call me?”

“I _did_ call you, asshole. I called you like, eight or nine times. And I texted you about six times. You weren’t answering your phone.”

“What? I checked my phone this morning. I didn’t have anything.”

“Well, I promise you, I was calling you. When you didn’t pick up, I came to find you. Where were you?”

“I went to the gym…I needed a shower, my water’s been shut off.” Chris suddenly felt that he didn’t want have this conversation outside. “Want to come in?”

“Yeah, sure.” Chris was unnerved by Zach’s anxiety. He was so unused to seeing cracks in Zach’s flawless façade that he wasn’t quite sure what to do.

“We’re going to talk,” he said as he unlocked the door, and was surprised at the authoritative voice that came out of his mouth. Perhaps it was leftover fuel from his anger at the men from before.

“Yeah, ok,” Zach said meekly, and Chris reached for his hand and led him into the hallway.

Once they were inside, Chris ushered Zach to the couch, but stayed standing himself. Somehow having the height advantage made him feel better.

“Chris, I’m so sorry about yesterday…” Zach began, but Chris shushed him.

“I’m talking, you’re listening,” he said, and Zach’s eyes widened in surprise, but he shut up.

“Ok, so I have realised some things. Most of them in, like, the past few minutes.” He paused to organise his thoughts, and then continued. “So, when we got together we never actually _got together_ , did we? I mean, one day we were friends, and then we were this, and we never really talked about it. Zach, you’re my first ever boyfriend, you’re the expert at this, and you just took control, and I was scared to disappoint you. I feel like I’m terrible at sex all the time, and like I’m five seconds away from losing you at any given moment, and then when I tried to… _y’know_ , I got really nervous. Because I’d never fucking done it before.”

He paused again, as if daring Zach to interrupt. Zach did not interrupt.

“And then I realised…Zach, you’re kind of in control here. Not only do you _know_ everything, but you control everything too. You constantly show me that I’m inexperienced and then you make me feel like a kid when I can’t do things. And now you’re in my position, with no experience, and you can’t take it, and you _still_ have to be in control. And when you’re not in control, you bail. You only came over here this morning because you couldn’t bear not knowing where I was. How do you know I just didn’t want to talk to you?”

“But you _always_ want to talk to me.”

“Yes, of course I do, Zach, I’m crazy about you. But I always call you, I always go to your place, I always…”

“The dog's at my place. I thought you were ok going there?”

“Yeah, I am, but…not really the point, Zach.”

They looked at each other for a moment, and then Zach said “So, do I get to talk now?”

Chris nodded. Zach stood and paced a little before beginning.

“You’re not the only one who’s been thinking recently,” he said slowly. “Ok, I agree with you. I’ve been pretty controlling and I’m sorry. I didn’t realise I was doing it. It’s just…Chris, I’m crazy about you too, and I know you’re nervous about sex stuff, and I was just trying to make it feel better for you. I don’t know whether you’re going to change your mind and leave me, and when you didn’t like sex, I freaked out. I thought you would leave me. So I was trying to be encouraging, and I guess…I guess it just came out patronising? And then _this_ happened and I had no idea how to please you.”

“But you still took control.”

“Yeah, it was a dick move, but Chris, you have to learn to ask for what you want. I took control because you let me. And it was totally selfish of me and horrible and I’m sorry.”

“And then you realised you were not, in fact, Zachary Quinto, God of Sex, for the human body in all its incarnations and you fled?”

“I was _embarrassed_ ,” Zach said through gritted teeth. “And you were being horrible to me.”

“Well, _I_ was embarrassed the previous day. You weren’t exactly nice to me either. And I really really wanted to come, and I just _couldn’t._ ” Chris took a breath. “So, I guess what I need to do is take control more, yeah?”

“Yes. Chris, this is quite literally not my specialist area. I’m not some kind of amazing sex god. I just know my body and I’m comfortable with it and I’d like to get to know yours. And make you feel good. But I don’t get it right all the time.”

“Well, that makes two of us, I guess.”

Zach stopped his pacing just in front of Chris and gave him a long hug. They stood together for a couple of moments, and Chris rejoiced in renewed contact with Zach. All of his synapses seemed to relax at once, and he squeezed Zach tightly.

“You know, you can talk to me about stuff. I don’t expect you to just know it,” Zach said softly.

“I just felt really stupid. Like I was dumb for not knowing.”

“Well, don’t. There’s nothing hotter than someone asking what to do to make you feel good.”

“Ok. Ok, I will ask.”

 “Good.” Zach released him, and they stood quietly for a moment. Then Zach said,

“Hey, want to try it out?”

“What?”

“Want to try it out? Giving me instructions? I feel like we’ve made some great theoretical strides, but our practical experience is woefully lacking.”

“You want to try again?”

“Yes, I do. I think I owe it to you. Don’t want this new body to go to waste, and this way I’ll understand a bit more about how you feel.”

Chris could hardly believe his luck. “Really? _Really?_ You really want to?”

“ _Yes._ But you’re going to have to help me. Talk me though it, make sure you feel good, because I really have no clue here.”

“That is _awesome._ And…and we’re taking care of each other, right? I mean, I don’t have a whole lot of experience in this body anyway. So we’re both virgins, kinda. Um, except for yesterday. Let’s forget about yesterday.”

“You’re kind of selling this to me, you know?”

Chris said nothing for a moment, just bounced on the tips of his toes with excitement and nervous energy, before something occurred to him.

“So, now that I’ve got a, a vag…ina…”

“Chris, call it what it is, it’s a cunt.”

“No, I _hate_ that word. It’s so violent.”

“What do you usually call it then?”

“I…it’s varied. Depends on what the lady in question prefers. I generally just used to go with that.”

“Pussy, then?”

“No. _No._ It’s just not sexy. I mean, my past girlfriends have mostly liked one or the other, but this one’s _mine,_ I don’t want it to be called that.”

“Then how are we going to refer to…… _Christina_?” Zach asked, throwing up his hands in frustration.

Chris was equally frustrated. “I don’t know. It’s never been something I’ve paid much attention to. Funnily enough, I didn’t think I’d ever have to solve the problem of naming my own female genitalia.”

“How about lady garden?”

“No.”

“Vadge?”

“No.”

“Um…kitten?”

“ _No._ ”

“Well, I don’t know. I’m out of ideas, and my experience is kind of limited. This isn’t exactly my specialist area.”

“Zach, I appreciate the effort, but it’s pretty obvious that none of that terminology came from an actual woman.”

“So, what? You gonna go all _Fifty Shades of Grey_ on me and just refer to it as…” Zach made a dramatic pause, before sighing breathily “… _there_? _”_

“No. Definitely not. And how the fuck do you know what happens in _Fifty Shades of Grey_?”

“I have my sources. Ok, so what _are_ we going to call it?”

“Anything’s gotta be better than _lady garden._ Jesus. That’s the world’s biggest buzzkill right there. You ask to put anything in there and I’m leaving immediately.”

“How about we go for the old romance novel method?”

“What? What do you mean?”

“Circumlocution.” Zach dropped his voice a half-octave and stretched the word out, and Chris felt the special shiver that always came when Zach used big words shudder down his spine. “We don’t have to call it anything. If you’re more comfortable with it, then that’s fine too.”

This was such a long way from Zach’s previous “if you can do it, you can say it” mantra concerning gay sex that Chris almost wanted to laugh, but he didn’t. Zach’s voice had dropped into its seduction register, and he felt himself getting hot and wet again, so he had more important things to do right now. Zach took a finger and traced it down Chris’s belly, and then down to the heat between his legs.

“Yeah…yeah, ok, that sounds good.”

Zach framed Chris’s waist with his hands and pulls him closer. _Ohhh,_ he could so get used to being moved around like this. Holding Chris tightly, he swooped down and kissed him, full on the lips. It was a passionate, fierce kiss. Lots of tongue. Chris _loved_ kissing Zach. He broke away and mouthed down Zach’s jawline, hearing a satisfying moan as he did so. Then, impulsively, he leapt into Zach’s arms and clung hard with his knees around Zach’s waist; Zach supported his ass with one hand – oh, so sexy, being picked up like this, he could get used to it – and used the other to tease him through two layers of clothing, dragging his thumb along the crotch of Chris’s sweatpants and sending massive sparks of electricity through his body, radiating out from his centre.

“You ready to try this again?” Chris murmured, brushing his lips against Zach’s.

“Mmm, definitely ready…you’re in control, baby, anything you want…”

Zach opened his mouth with a soft sigh to accept Chris’s tongue into his mouth, allowing him to dominate the kiss.

“Take me to bed then,” Chris gasped into Zach’s mouth in between kisses, and Zach carried him there, effortlessly, like he weighed nothing, laying him down and just _looking_ at him.

“ _Chris_ ,” Zach whispered, sounding awed. “You look so beautiful. And so hot. I want to go down on you. Tell me how to do that?”

“Yes…yes. OK.” Chris wriggled out of his sweatpants, pulling his panties down along with them. Zach shuffled down the bed and Chris spread his legs wide, bending his knees.

“What do I look like?”

“You’re wet…very wet, and pink, and slick…all flushed. You smell turned-on as hell...I like it. What should I do?”

“Um, ok…” Chris tried to picture how he would approach this. Zach had started to kiss the insides of his thighs, moving closer and closer to him. “Just…kiss me.”

Zach did, and his tongue teased out, lapping at Chris’s folds. He explored him tenderly, then pulled off and dived on Chris for a kiss. Chris tasted himself, thick and sweet on Zach’s tongue, and made sure to suck off all the spicy warmth from Zach’s lips. He was eager for Zach to go back to him, to keep that hot wet suction and exploration on his new, tender skin.

“Mmmm, oh yeah, that’s good,” he muttered, as Zach returned to his former position and started licking again.

“You even _smell_ different. All musky and spicy and sweet all at once. Tell me what to do to make you feel good.”

“Lick me…yeah, that feels so good. Can you…can you put your tongue inside me?”

Zach hummed against him, which wracks Chris’s body with another huge shudder. Zach’s tongue was inside him now, his hands holding Chris open so he could get deep inside him.

“Now, take your thumb, and just press my clit…yes, _yes!_ ” He came again, feeling it crash over him like a wave, and he moaned as Zach wrung out the last few aftershocks, biting down hard on Zach’s shoulder to muffle the sound.

“I need a moment…give me a minute,” he gasped, “Let me touch you.”

He reached out and gripped Zach’s cock, which seemed impossibly huge in his smaller hand. Zach moaned as Chris gave him a few gentle tugs, thrusting up into the contact.

“Want you so much,” he whispered between kisses to Chris’s neck and jaw.

“Think I’m ready for you,” Chris whispered back – somehow being quiet seemed appropriate for this, without there really being a clear reason why – and then Zach was rummaging for lube and a condom. “Let me?” he offered, taking the condom from Zach’s hand.

Zach nodded, and Chris opened the packet with trembling hands. He rolled the condom onto Zach and followed it up with a generous slick of lube, determined to make this as comfortable as possible.

“You’ll have to be gentle,” he murmured in Zach’s ear, “it’s my first time.” And as far as he was concerned, it kind of was.

Zach looked at him, his face open, adoring, loving, and kissed him gently.

“It’ll be great. I’m going to take such good care of you.” Zach was protective at the best of times, and Chris always loved it, but now, with such a difference between them, when Zach could really do him some damage if he was too rough, it warmed his heart even more than usual.

”Go slow,” Chris begged, and Zach nodded. He held Chris by the hips and gently lifted him up, so Zach was on his back and Chris was being lowered down onto him. When he felt Zach enter him, he cried out.

“Oh…so good, you feel so good...gently.”

Zach eased inside, right up to the hilt, and Chris felt so completely _full_. It was different to anal sex, and leagues away from what had happened yesterday. He rocked his hips experimentally, and felt Zach graze that sweet spot inside him. It was exquisite. He flexed his muscles around Zach’s length, and his lover moaned beneath him.

“This is…”

“Different.” He didn’t want to say _better_ , because it was impossible to compare the two experiences. It was just different. He rocked backwards and forwards on Zach’s hips, grinding his clit down onto Zach’s pelvis and feeling delicious warmth spread through him. Zach’s hands were firm on him, holding him close. His eyes were closed and his expression was difficult to read.

“Zach?”

“Feels good, Chris, please don’t stop.”

Chris sank down onto Zach’s chest so that he could kiss him and be held closer. He wanted his whole body to melt into Zach’s, to mould his body around Zach’s amazing cock and always be this full. They kissed deeply and continued rocking together.

“Do you think you can come again?”

“Yes…keep going.” He took it as an invitation to change the pace, and slammed his body down onto Zach. Not that he could cause much pain, what with the height and weight difference, but his aggression made Zach growl, and he rolled them over so that he was on top. His weight on top of Chris was incredible.

“So hot, Zach…so good, love you so much.”

He didn’t even realise he’d said it until he thought back. At that moment he was all sparking nerves. His body was drawing in on itself, and he knew he was going to come soon. When it hit, his whole body shuddered, massive waves of contractions shaking through him, so powerful he couldn’t do anything except cry out. Zach rocked him through it, holding him close, and came a few seconds later. The aftershocks took a while to clear, and when they did, he was securely wrapped up in Zach’s arms.

 

\---

 

They passed the rest of the day in a haze of sleeping, snuggling, and more lovemaking. Mostly sleeping, because really, really good sex was pretty exhausting, but also in Zach becoming, in Chris’s limited experience anyway, a fucking _expert_ at oral sex. Of course, he was going to have to claim a lot of the credit for himself there, as he was clearly a very gifted teacher. When he shared this opinion with Zach halfway through their fourth session, late in the evening, Zach looked as though he wanted to argue, but in deference to Chris taking more control of the proceedings, he just raised an eyebrow and got back to business.

“You’re wasted on men,” Chris gasped, as Zach brought him off yet again.

“Possibly just as well, if this is the shape of things to _come_ _._ ”

“I ought to murder you for that pun.”

“But you’re not going to.”

“No, of course not. It would be a loss to the world of sex.”

Zach bit him teasingly hard on the inside of his thigh, and he gasped.

“Damn right it would be.”

“Get up here and say that to my face.”

Zach obliged, but instead of talking, he gave Chris and enthusiastic, almost suffocating kiss. When Chris has gotten his breath back, he was quiet for a moment.

“What are you thinking?” Zach asked fondly.

“What if this _is_ the shape of things to come? I mean, what if I’m stuck as a girl forever?”

“Then some scientists somewhere will get to write a very interesting paper.”

“ _Zach._ I’m serious.”

“Well, if you’re stuck as a girl, then you’re stuck as a girl, I guess. We’ll have to explain a lot of things to a lot of people, and they’ll probably have to recast Kirk. Although knowing _Star Trek,_ it would probably be a plausible plotline to turn Kirk into a girl. Definitely not the weirdest thing that ever happened on that show. So you might even be able to keep your job.”

“What about keeping my boyfriend?”

“What, are you trying to get rid of me so you can scope out girls at the local gym?” Zach grinned, and Chris blushed furiously, already regretting telling Zach that story.

“No, but…Zach, you’re gay. Aren’t you? If this hasn’t made you not gay.”

“Labels can make things very complicated, Christopher, and sexuality is not necessarily performative,” Zach intoned, half-reminding Chris of some of the more earnest people from his Gender and Sexualities course at college. “Seriously though? I don’t know what this makes me and it might break my brain trying to figure it out. For the moment I think I’ll just say I’m your boyfriend, and we’ll work out the rest as we go along. I don’t seem to have had a problem being turned-on by you so far.”

“You’re not going to leave me?”

“I’ve no plans to, put it that way, sweetheart.” Zach kissed his forehead and pulled Chris closer into his arms, but Chris tensed.

“What?”

“Could you maybe not call me that?”

“What, ‘sweetheart’? Why not?”

“Bad associations.”

“Sure, anything you like, honey-bun.”

Chris could hear Zach smirking, but he refused to rise to it.

“Thanks a lot, snigglebitch.”

 

\---

 

Horrendously early the next morning, Chris woke up, stumbled in the direction of the bathroom, and tripped over his own feet. What the fuck had happened to make his legs so long? He was thoroughly confused for a moment, and then he realised that there was a distinct lack of top-heaviness to his frame. Hardly daring to hope, he got back to his feet and hurried – carefully – to the bathroom. Sure enough, he was back to his usual shape, and he crowed with delight.

“Zach! Zach, I’m a guy again! I’m a guy again!”

“Wha…..?” came a dozy voice from down the hall.

“Zach, I’m a guy! I’ve got my dick back! You don’t need to worry about whether or not you’re gay!”

“Chris, could you just stop yelling? It’s too early for this.”

“ _No._ ” Chris went back to the bedroom and displayed himself in all his naked masculine glory, dancing jubilantly in front of a squinting Zach.

“Great. Excellent. Wonderful. Now could you shut up and let me sleep?”

“You had _that little_ invested in my penis that you’d rather go back to sleep than check it’s back and in full working order?”

“Chris. It’s early. I’m delighted you’ve got your cock back, but I need time to wake up, and part of my brain is still processing the fact that it ever _left._ Could you just go and make some coffee for a few minutes?”

 Chris scowled, but the effect was lost on Zach, so he went through to the kitchen, still completely naked, and filled up the coffee pot. The second back-to-normal thing to happen that morning hit him as he was making coffee.

“And the water’s back on,” he yelled through to Zach, who made an inarticulate grumbling sound in response. Chris couldn’t find the heart to go pester Zach again, but he was too hyped-up to stay still while waiting for coffee, so he idly reached for his phone where he had abandoned it on the counter the day before. It was blinking angrily with several missed calls and text messages, all from Zach.

“Hey, you _did_ call me yesterday,” he said, not intending Zach to hear him, but he jumped when Zach padded into the kitchen, wearing the pair of sleep pants he had been keeping at Chris’s for weeks now. A little flame of warmth blossomed in Chris’s heart at the sight.

“Yeah, dumbass, I told you I did.”

“But when I turned my phone on there was nothing.”

“That’s because that relic you call a phone takes about three years to boot up properly. I’ve been telling you to get a new phone for ages.”

“Oh.” Chris thought for a moment. “Sorry. I guess I got angry at you for no reason.”

“I guess so.” Zach didn’t look upset though; on the contrary, he finally seemed to be able to process the fact that Chris was naked, and a wide grin was spreading across his features.

“Stop ogling me,” Chris said primly.

“Never,” Zach said, stepping forward to wrap him up in an embrace. “You’re gorgeous. I liked girl-you, but I _love_ boy-you.”

“Not regretting the loss of my boobs?”

“Let’s not say that. Let’s just say I’m welcoming the return of your dick.”

“Want to go back to bed and give it a proper hello?”

“Do I ever,” Zach said fervently, letting Chris go and taking his hand.

“Ok. But after that, you’re going to lie back, think of America and talk me through how to give you the blow job of a lifetime.”

“Mr Pine, it would be my pleasure.”

 

\--- 

 

Dear Mr Pine,

We would like to apologise for the interruption to your water supply earlier this week. This was due to unexpected contamination of the water main owing to an accident a nearby pharmaceutical company. We wish to convey our most sincere apologies and hope that any inconvenience caused, however unusual, was short-lived and minimally problematic. We regret that we are unable to discuss the subject further, and are grateful for your understanding.

Thank you for choosing American Water.

Sincerely,

America Water, Los Angeles Division  


 


End file.
